Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Move on to 2008

I hope for better year, i guess everybody wish for it too.
I really fell like starting my life all over from zero, which i don't know whether I should be happy or sad.
Today, start browsing jobstreet (sound familiar eh! especially for jobless men), I confused. Yes, indeed!!! Last year when i browsed on the same web, confidently i knew which field, position and even company that i wanted to go to. Now? Duh!!!

Happy when saw 'banking/financial' words on the page; but when i clicked and 'insurance industry' pop up on my screen, i closed it ASAP and all bad memories flied around my head AGAIN.
It just too hard to forget all the uncomfortable experiences. If i saw a family in the public, either they are malay, chinese or indian; out of sudden i could picture them as my client, who were listening to my presentation, giving me full of rejection and showing me their unfriendly faces. Honestly I was scare, really scare. I wish i could just run away to somewhere nobody knows me. (I know I'm weird and think too much!)
At night, especially passed by huge HBD flats, all those memories would just freshly wake up from my mind. I hate myself, why i couldnt control my feeling, why i couldnt see the bright or happy side instead of uncomfortable one. Why, why why?!
Sometimes i wish to lose my memories only for the past 5 months. I know it sounds selfish and i should be blessed on those priceless experiences that i gained instead. sigh...

It is not a good and healthy wish for 2008 though. It just like running away from reality *sigh...
Yes, I should move on and start from zero again, i guess. I wish myself good luck in my career and never ever made impulse decisions again!

Anyway, just want to share, I still love Jim Brickman, it reminds me to Windsor, small quiet peaceful place to live. Every time i listen the songs, I can imagine myself walking from the campus to 'rosedale' house =) with windy fall or even snowing winter. Sound silly eh! but i love that feeling.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do u miss riverside? hehehe

Anonymous said...

Pretty much :)
Do u plan to go back in the future.. i mean only for visit? hehehe

Anonymous said...

yes.... so we have Bali, Korea, Windsor in our goal hahahaha