The Hardest Things

Confident enough by saying "I know what I'm doing" , but hell, it is not, i don't know what and why I was doing it. Damn.
"Others can do it, of course you can do it too right?" simple sentence has brilliant meaning but has none feeling for me
.
Fighting with my own ego, keep telling myself that I'm doing the right things, yes I'm doing the right things (yeah.. I' m not killing robbing or molesting people Dahhhh stupid).
But it just didn't work sometimes. The problem is I'M SCARE!!!!!
What the hell I'm scare of huh? I DON'T KNOW...

This is the most pathetic moment when you stand in the middle of no where and confusedly convincing yourself that you are in the right path and you should just continue to walk even your HEART has a big hesitate to do it.

Oh geez... I think this blog will fill with all of my junks.
- I don't like knocking on people door at night
- I don't like to beg people for donation
- I don't like people slam the door in front of me
- I don't like working at night, I'm damn freaking scare of dark!!!
- I don't like those stupid citizen stare and scold me like I'm a bugger (What the #$#%$, I can even buy your HDB if i want. That's my ego tell me when I stress out)

I know, I know this is a process. Just sometimes I cant take it, I really cant bare with it. I hate forcing myself do things that I don't like. Now, I'm really pushing myself to do it. Don't know where is the limit but hopefully my limit is unlimited.