Doesnt Really Matter Now

I was being silly by deciding to go out with Tracy. I kept thinking how should I behave, can I still talk to her normally? But whatever reason, I still have to go out with her because cancelling the appointment is just doesnt make sense at all, may be this is what I call being mature, and try to differentiate between work and personal thing.

When I met her, i tried to avoid yesterday incident. However, it last for 10 minutes only and she started "I'm sure that Evelyn will get her leave, I'm really sure. Because my training and Jae's training are not confirm yet. I'm sure Intan will approve her leave"

I dont know why suddendly she brought out this thing, maybe she felt guilty? I dont know...

Then she started tell everything that Intan told her yesterday. The reason she has promoted because she just bought a house and getting married soon, so she needs money. (Please Boss, are you stupid or have you misplaced your brain? Dont you know who is tracy? Dont you know who is tracy's parent, cant you see all LV Gucci bags owned by tracy? Does she really need your promotion to make her buy house? Are you really stupid or I'm over sensitive?). Tracy told me she was abit insulted when Intan told her she need money for her house and wedding (as you know, Tracy's pride).

She also tell Tracy that she has made a huge effort to talk to Lawrence (director) so he can talk to big boss to promote tracy. "So, Tracy, the point is she has made HUGE effort for you and dont you dare to leave this company!"

Tracy kept convince me that she feel threaten by Intan and she doesnt feel happy about the promotion. She was telling me that she doesnt want their money and she hate the job, her father can still financially take care of her. And which then she decided to go for her 1st phone interview this morning with some publishing company! Honestly, I dont know how true it is, how true her feeling toward the job and promotion, how true she really can afford to lose this job, I really doubt it!

She is really nice as a friend, she side and help me alot. But sometimes I really dont know how genuine she is. I just feel that as long as she do me good, I will treat her the same.

This morning I woke up, I didnt feel angry anymore, even though still sad.
I keep telling myself that I will not work for people for my whole life, I will have my own business, i will have my right to do my own thing. So, I dont need this position especially under insane boss. Doesnt she realize that she is a pathetic manager? No one in the office side her, 'we just being nice ONLY infront of you. Everyone is bitching about you after that. Doesnt it pathetic?'

It doesnt really matter for me now. I cant trust anyone, anyway in the office!

I Dont Care

Ego's, self-center, naif, heartless, whatever you wanna call me, I dont care.
JUST LEAVE me alone, dont come to me and pour all your 'huge' non senses problem to me, I cant help and I really cant be bother. For heaven sake, it is not my problem, just dont tell me! not only cant help you, it affect my life, my thinking, my feeling, everything man!

I'm not as good listener as old time, I'm not friendly anymore, I dont care your problem, I cant laugh at your lame joke anymore, I cant talk to you or answer your phone after working hours, i just cant bring all of your non sense thing back home with me and affect my personal life. I got life DUDE! I got my own pressure. If you're depressed, it doenst mean I'm stress free. Just dont drag your problem to my life, I had have it ENOUGH!

Sorry If I was rude, but please dont come to me, I cant help you all anymore, I cant even help myself, I'm stuck with all of my unplanned future.

Please dont come to me.......

*Sigh...*

Basa Basi

I feel like writing something... but no clue.... hmnn...
Well, lets see;
Politic wise, so far it is alright. Boss on vacation leave for a week so no government. However big bosses will be coming down tomorrow and station in our office, so got to behave.
Colleagues are working and compromising well enough to each other.
Since I got many morning shifts, so around 9 pm, my body and brain will automatically stop operating for the day. Any call after 9pm will only be answered by tomorrow as early as 5 am :D

Socially, still hang around with the same and best folks ever, especially for makan makan events. Go to gym still, but not as routine as last time, blame on the changing working hours. Finished Salsa beginner class which then end up learnt how to move my hip together with comments that I dance like a jogger or my step is too big until my partner has difficulties to follow me(blame on the salsa class at California LOL).

Economically, OH NO!!! Need more cash, cash and cash! Hope the shares and stocks price will increase soon, I mean soon is really soon, in a month time??? I know its impossible but whos know MIRACLE, keep it positive! Also, hope Pandit doing good and really work hard for it, so at least I will get increment in September or at least those government wont kick our ass out from the building.

House, I mean room, I get used to it, in fact really feel like home now. (Mbak nya sering cuciin baju, soalnya dia sering pinjem hp buat telp balik indo, sogokan mbak nya. hihihihi. just exactly feels like home :P)

Future Prospect

This afternoon after my lunch, I have these conversations with my owner's maid;

Maid: Kak, kakak nga usa exercise lagi deh, percuma aja.
Me: ???? (feeling insulted and confused) napa emang nya?
Maid: Ia, soalnya badan kakak emang uda begitu, kan tulang kakak besar dan tinggi, jadi nga bakal bisa kurus lagi.
Me: (Gila aja nih mbak, bisa beneran g nga kurus kurus nih) Yah mbak ini, nga sopan deh, trus gimana dong kalo nga bisa kurus!
Maid: Yah nga apa apa, kan bagus mbak. Mbak jadi Polwan aja.
Me: Apa itu Polwan?
Maid: Polisi Wanita!
Me:???????
Maid: (Binggung, tungguin g jawab)
Me: Wahahahahhahah, yang bener aja Mbak, gimana jadi polwan, mbak ini ada2 aja deh, uda sana potong cabe (Lagi di suruh potong cabe sama auntie).
Maid: Serius kak, polwan itu gaji nya tinggi lo, kakak pasti cakep deh kalo uda pake seragam nya, tinggi - gagah. Aku aja pengen, cuma aku kan kecil, nga cocok pake seragam nya. Ntar anak ku uda besar, aku suruh jadi polwan aja.
Me: (Gila aja nih Mbak, pake tinggi-gagah segala) Mbak ini ada ada aja deh, itu mah cita2 mbak yang nga kesampaian, kasihan tuh anak lu suruh jadi polwan.
Maid: Nga kok, itu emang cita cita anakku waktu umur 3 taon, habis nonton kartun, dia bilang mau jadi polisi aja biar bisa tangkap penjahat, hahahaha.
Me: (Speechless!!)

Afeter awhile

Maid: Mbak mau kue lapis nga, aku potongin yah?
Me: Nga ah, kenyang habis makan juga.
Maid: (Maksa) Mau nga mbak, nih aku potongin deh?
Me: Nga mau, Kenyanggggg!!!
Maid: Habis nga ada yg makan juga, cuma aku sendiri, Mam Mei (auntie) nga suka manis, jadinya yah aku yang makan deh semuanya. Aku suka manis, kan aku orang jawa suka manis manis.
Me: Ihhh mbak nih, kemarin bilang suka asem, hari ini manis. kayaknya asin asem manis semuanya mbak suka deh.
Maid: hahahhaha, yah ia lah, kan kalo habis makan yang asem asem bisa langsung segerrrrrrr.
Me: Ah mbak ini, emang dehhhhhh. Udah ah, bawel deh, sana potong cabe, nah nah tuh, Ama panggil tuh, cepetan sana!!!!

Uih..... Gila, finally she left me alone. Thanks to Ama deh. Kalo nga bisa mati g, suruh jadi polwan segala. PARAH DEH!!!!
Tapi lucu juga pembantunya, baik lagi, sering jemurin baju g haahahha.

Moody Saddy

*Sigh....

Nothing really happened today, every routine was just ordinary, nothing unexpectedly happened.
It just the feeling that doesnt seem to compromise.

Did shopping for a while and ended up, as usual, impulse purchase again *sigh...
I thought it would make me feel better, at least, in what so ever reason. But Nah....
All stuffs are still beautifully sit inside the paper bag and I dont even bother to unpack it. Indeed, feel like return back all.

Was it because of 'it'?, I suppose too. Since the moment I knew 'it', my mood changed, i just couldnt control it.
I must have expect it too much, everything doesnt even start yet and I have already expected the ending, duh!

Or was it because of monthly mood swing due to hormone? It makes sense too I guess.

Or may be because of my office wear that i wore today was a little bit 'bang' and I didnt feel looks good on me? Nah... normally I dont care whether it looks good or not, as long as it is comfortable and I like it, it will be fine!
ARGH!!! Just want to find out what the heck is going on me today.
So irritating!

I suddenly miss my dad a lot. I was wondering, will my life be different if he still here? ~.~

Merry Christmas!!!

I hope everyone feels as happy as I am :D, If you weren't then you HAVE TO!!!

It is Christmas! Happy, Joy, Holly time!

If you are stress because of workload, dont worry, you have to be thankful to have work to do during this global recession time.
Dont think of how much bonus that you will receive at the end of this year. If you are still working and hearing your boss say 'I want you to finish it by next month!'. That is your BONUS, at least you know that you have a secure job until next month =)

Want to celebrate Christmas but money tight?
Dont worry, get a 180cm Christmas tree at Carrefour for just $19.90 (hard to believe eh!), but dont compare the quantity k'
Try to decorate the tree by yourself, trust me, you will feel something special.
Dont know how to decorate? Easy, just GOOGLE it! hihihi.

I wish those who just lost their job, all the best and dont give up k'!
Just treat it as a long leave that you have to clear. Spend that time with your close one, families and friends. Just be positive that next year will be better.
Perhaps, if you have savings, take out small part of it and invest it in blue chip companies ;) (only small part k' NOT all!!)

I know and everyone know that the time is bad, it hit globally, but we cant do anything, we cant turn back or move forward the time, so just CHEER and walk through it.

I'm feeling happy even I am freaking miserably poor this month especially after paying my last month credit card bill *sigh... anyway, It just money and we can get it back soon. So, dont waste your time with this once a year joyful moment, ~~~MERRY CHRISTMAS~~~

*** Better to light up the candle rather than cursing the darkness that shrouding us.

Hope

If What they all said that next year will be better, then I hope it better be!